Shitesfest presents VelociPastor
Showing: Friday 8th November at Midnight
Director: Brendan Steere
Cast: Alyssa Kempinski, Greg Cohan, Nicholas M. Garofolo
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Runtime: 1h 15m
Ah, the famed Full Moon Friday Midnight slot; reserved for only the very pinnacle in “So Bad It’s Incredible” cinema – or S**teFest, as we lovingly know it in-house.
So, with that premise in mind, we gleefully present for your viewing displeasure this November the unforgettable, the unbelievable, the unforgivable, the frankly unnecessary - VelociPastor.After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur (don’t ask). At first horrified by this new power, a conveniently placed hooker (Again - don’t ask) convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.
What more do you want from us? One delusional/ enlightened reviewer wrote “Sometimes all you need in life is in one film and VelociPastor is that film”. We’ll leave it to you to decide, but we urge you to join us for this incredible cinematic journey at the stroke of midnight. Wear loose clothing.